Fashion No-Ho!

I remember when I was a girl my mother swore that two things that would never ever come back into style the first being leg warmers, the second being leggings. However, both are back and at full force. Now there is one thing I swore would never come back is tie-dye. Today, both of us were very, very, very wrong and so was this girl's outfit.




First and foremost, LEGGINGS DO NOT LOOK GOOD ON PEOPLE WITH THICK LEGS! I have thick legs, so bye-bye leggings! Now this young lady in question did not have thick legs, but I believe that if you're not emaciated leggings just aren't that attractive. If you are emaciated, watch out because I'm going to hog tie you and force feed you a sandwich.



I'd had a long day at school, and as walking off campus there she was...

 It was the tie dye shirt that initially caught my attention, and then I realized it was dreadfully short. Like when girls get the kiddie boy white tee shirts so they're tight on the chest when they go to do home made tie-dye. Anyhow, I go to mentally critique the rest of her ensemble expecting that maybe she's wearing Birkenstocks. O no, what I did catch was her crotch eating her leggings. Tip to young ladies: CAMEL TOE IS A NO, A NO... UNLESS YOU IS A HO, HO! Her nether regions were better outlined than my notes for political science. GAG!



Ladies, seriously. Didn't you're mother tell you to leave something to imagination? I'm not going to be a gyno when I grow up; I don't go to school to get an eye full of crotch-ola. I don't care how it looks in a magazine, so very few women are of the same body type of the emaciated tooth picks that grace the glossy pages we flip through religiously. The vast majority of what you see on models, in magazines and in fashion shows will not fit the average woman. If you dare to try it, it will most often look gawd awful. You can be one of the most beautiful women in the world and clothes can still plain ya down.



What I suggest pairing with leggings: miniskirts, shorter dresses, shorts, and tunics. However, I suggest AGAINST leggings if you're shorter or if you have athletic to thinker legs. If you fit in this category go with opaque tights that aren't patterned, or brightly colored. It won't appear to chop your leg at the ankle or calves. Leaving you with a more polished and stream lined look.



I'm a curvy girl. I've got a small waist, but I've got wide hips (think the red head from "Mad Men"). So I pick classic pieces, inspired by the 1950-1960s where women were allowed to be women. Allowed to be voluptuous. Seriously, this culture isn't working for us girls. Pick your own look, pick your own style. What works for one, doesn't work for another. Having an independent style, a signature look will not only make you feel confident, but you'll feel like you're being true to yourself. Figure out what your body type is, try different styles, maybe even try ranging sizes. So finish your Chubby Hubby tonight, pick back up on the Pilates in the morning. You're beautiful the way you are (as long as you're not in tie dye or putting your legging munching cooter on display! Even then you might still be beautiful, but who would notice?